Today

After waiting an hour to get my car inspected, a woman came into the little white box we're supposed to wait in and said, "You know we're living in the final years? And the only way to save yourself is to believe in Jesus?"
So of course I said yes, I'm not about to fight with some short woman in the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission. I just wanted to get the hell out of there and go to Wawa.
But what would I really have said to her? "Actually lady, I'm in a transitional period in my life where I may or may not be considered a christian or not. I'm definitely not a good one. For instance, my most successful weekends often consist of putting my greatest effort forward to get as fucked up as possible on whatever substance that is at my disposal. Just enough so I can forget most of the details of how I got home, or if I even did at all. I think I believe in God..... Ask me in a few years when I have more time to think about it."
That sounds about right.